Decode the Lifestyle with Confidence

Get familiar with the lingo, one intriguing term at a time.

Ready to dip your toes (or dive right in) to the world of swinging, non-monogamy, and open relationships? Below you will find our glossary that is designed just for that. It’s your no-stress, all-fun resource to help you speak the language of the lifestyle. Whether you’re just starting out or looking to refine your knowledge, these definitions make it easy to join the conversation, ask questions, and engage confidently. So, scroll on, expand your lifestyle vocabulary, and get ready to feel right at home!

Swinger Terms:

What They Mean:

420

A nod to marijuana use, adding a chill vibe to lifestyle settings for those looking to relax, bond, and enjoy the good company.

AC/DC

A playful way to describe those attracted to both men and women, flowing freely across the spectrum of attraction with an open heart.

Alpha

The confident, take-charge figure in BDSM and cuckold scenarios, often leading interactions with a natural, commanding presence that sets the tone.

Back Door

Fun slang for anal play, a preference sometimes explored in the lifestyle when mutual consent and curiosity lead the way.

Bareback

Refers to sex without a condom—a choice some make within fluid-bonded circles, with trust and safety top of mind.

BBC

Stands for “Big Black Cock,” a fantasy popular among some swingers, especially in interracial play, adding an extra layer of excitement.

BBW

Describes a “Big Beautiful Woman” who proudly embraces her curves, bringing confidence and allure to lifestyle gatherings and connections.

BDSM

Short for Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism, this dynamic brings power play and control into the spotlight, often focusing more on the experience and connection than just the physical acts.

Bi-curious

A welcoming term for those open to exploring same-sex experiences, even if they’re not exclusively drawn to them—perfect for those taking first steps into new adventures!

Bottom

In male-to-male or BDSM play, the partner who takes on the receiving role, allowing for intimate connection through submission and trust.

Bukkake

A high-energy group fetish where multiple men come together to “shower” a woman’s face or body, creating a dramatic and intense visual shared by everyone involved.

Bull

The confident male in a cuckold scenario who takes center stage with the female partner while the “cuckold” watches or takes a supportive backseat.

Can Entertain

Describes a swinger who’s open to hosting, inviting lifestyle friends or new connections into their home or private space to enjoy good vibes, great company, and sexy times!

Can Travel

For the swinger willing to go the extra mile (literally!) to meet new lifestyle friends and connections, whether for a social hangout or something more intimate.

CD

Stands for Crossdresser; typically a man exploring the thrill and pleasure of wearing women’s clothing, often embraced openly in lifestyle settings where self-expression is celebrated.

Certs

Short for Certifications, these handy verifications let others know you’re the real deal—think of it as the lifestyle’s stamp of authenticity, helping build trust and attract like-minded connections on swinger sites.

Cheating

Engaging in lifestyle fun without partner consent or breaking set boundaries—not a good look in the community, where respect and openness are everything!

Clean

Signals that someone’s disease-free and drug-free—giving everyone peace of mind and a sense of safety in their profile.

Closed Door Swinging

Swinging with partners in separate rooms and closed doors, offering privacy while still letting everyone have their own fun in a comfortable setting.

Cock Blocking

Whether intentional or accidental, it’s any action that puts the brakes on someone’s chance for sexy play—never popular with those who are ready to dive in!

Compersion

That warm, fuzzy feeling of joy when you see your partner enjoying themselves—think of it as the opposite of jealousy, cherished in open relationships for the positivity it brings.

Consent

The bedrock of any lifestyle interaction! Consent is informed, freely given, and always revocable, making sure everyone is comfortable, respected, and enjoying their experience.

Cougar

A confident, attractive older woman who knows what she wants and enjoys the company of younger men—bringing her adventurous spirit to the lifestyle with pride.

CPL

Short for Couple, this often describes a committed pair in the lifestyle who explore together, whether they’re married, dating, or simply partners in play.

Cuckold

A man who enjoys watching his partner with another man, or “bull,” in a setting where he takes on a more submissive role—part of the excitement for those who embrace this dynamic.

Cut

Refers to circumcised men—sometimes listed as a preference for those with specific tastes within the community.

Curvy

A warm, flattering way to describe someone with a fuller figure, offering a bit of extra appeal without necessarily being BBW.

D&D or DDF

Stands for “Drug and Disease Free,” a reassurance often found in lifestyle profiles to give others peace of mind and promote healthy connections.

Desire

An exclusive, popular lifestyle resort near Cancun, Mexico, perfect for swingers looking to mingle in a tropical, carefree setting with like-minded adults.

Dogging

Originating in the UK, "dogging" refers to the thrill of public play, where couples engage intimately in parked cars or secluded outdoor spots, often allowing for some voyeuristic enjoyment by others nearby.

Dom/Domme

The leader in a BDSM relationship, a "Dom" (male) or "Domme" (female) controls the experience with a consensual submissive partner, steering the power dynamic and intensifying connection and trust.

DP

"Double Penetration," an adventurous act involving two partners for simultaneous stimulation, either in the same or separate orifices—often a thrilling addition to lifestyle encounters with trusted play partners.

Drama

Any tension, jealousy, or unresolved emotions that disrupt a swinging experience; best kept minimal for a relaxed, enjoyable vibe with partners.

DV

"Double Vaginal Penetration," a rare and daring act that involves two partners in the same opening. It's recommended to take precautions, especially with protection, for a smooth experience.

Exclusive

When a couple or group chooses to limit sexual connections to a select few, creating a more intimate and trusted circle within the larger lifestyle.

Exhibitionist

A person who loves the added thrill of being watched during intimate moments, enhancing excitement by sharing their experiences with onlookers in the lifestyle.

Fluid Bonded

Partners who have agreed to unprotected intimacy as a sign of deep trust and commitment. Often limited to closed or exclusive groups, emphasizing safety and intimacy.

FMF/FFM

A dynamic threesome setup with two ladies and one guy. In FMF, it’s all about the guy in the middle, while FFM implies that the ladies might get a little closer, too. Perfect for those who enjoy a touch of variety in their play.

French

A term that adds a little “ooh la la” to the mix, covering everything from passionate kissing to intimate oral moments. Bringing some “French” into play can turn up the heat for many couples.

Full Swap

When couples exchange partners and explore everything together, making it a complete partner experience. This is a popular option for those wanting the whole “full swap” adventure while staying together in the same room.

FWB

Friends with Benefits—a friendship with a little extra spice. Ideal for swingers who love the social side of the lifestyle and the idea of relaxed, ongoing connections with trusted friends.

Gang Bang

This intense experience involves one lucky lady and several enthusiastic men, with each taking a turn. Gang bangs bring a lot of energy and excitement to the room, often in structured and consensual settings for maximum thrill.

Generous

Often seen in profiles as a subtle way to say someone’s willing to show a little appreciation, maybe even in cash or gifts, for certain encounters.

Golden Shower

A kinkier side of play involving consensual urination for arousal. Golden showers, usually found in trusted BDSM circles, are about adding a new layer to intimate connection for those interested.

Greek

A playful way to refer to “back door” action, aka anal play. It might be as simple as a little finger play or a full experience, but “Greek” keeps things discreet.

Group Room

A lively space at swinger gatherings where multiple people connect. Group rooms are all about the energy and shared experience, with open invites for anyone who asks first.

Hall Pass

The ultimate permission slip—when a partner says, “go ahead and have fun solo!” It’s a freeing way to explore solo play within relationship boundaries and gives each partner room for a little independent adventure.

Hedo (Hedonism)

Known for its “anything goes” vibe, Hedo (Hedonism) is a famous lifestyle-friendly resort in Jamaica where couples and singles let loose. With open minds and even more open doors, it’s all about freedom and fun in paradise.

Host

The life of the party! The host takes charge of RSVPs, makes sure everyone’s comfortable, and keeps the vibes just right. Whether it’s a small house party or a big event, the host ensures everyone’s on the same page.

Hot Wife

A confident married woman who enjoys having fun with other men, often with her partner’s blessing. “Hotwifing” adds a dash of excitement and variety, keeping the heat alive in new ways while sharing in the experience.

House Party

An intimate swinger gathering at someone’s home. House parties can range from casual mingling to full play, with dedicated areas for socializing and play zones for those ready to dive in.

Hung

Describes a man with above-average equipment. This term often appears in profiles as a playful hint at what’s “under the hood,” adding to the intrigue for those who are curious.

HWP

Height and Weight Proportionate. HWP profiles hint at someone who’s fit and healthy, letting others know what to expect without needing too much detail.

IRL

Short for “In Real Life.” For many lifestyle folks, meeting “IRL” brings online connections into the physical world, adding an extra layer of excitement.

ISO

In Search Of. A classic term for people seeking something specific, whether it’s a type of play, person, or experience.

KIK

A favorite messaging app in the lifestyle for chatting anonymously. KIK allows you to connect, share photos, and even set up group chats for easy communication without giving away too much.

Kink

Anything that brings extra excitement to your love life! From BDSM to role play, “kink” covers the many ways people spice up their experiences, all about discovering what makes each person tick.

Lifestyle

A broad term for open-minded communities embracing everything from swinging to polyamory, BDSM, and more. The “lifestyle” celebrates freedom, connection, and trust, letting each person or couple define what feels right for them.

LS

Short for “Lifestyle.” This handy abbreviation is used in profiles and conversations among those in the community, hinting at a shared understanding of non-monogamous, open-minded connections.

LTR

Long-Term Relationship. For lifestyle folks, being in an LTR doesn’t mean limiting new experiences—it’s about strengthening a bond while exploring, trusting, and growing together.

Marital Aids

The playful name for sex toys of every kind, often enjoyed in the lifestyle for adding extra fun and variety to playtime. From simple enhancements to advanced gadgets, “marital aids” make experimenting easy and exciting!

Meet & Greet

A casual, no-pressure gathering for like-minded folks to connect over drinks or dinner. Meet & Greets are social mixers where people get to know each other in a relaxed setting, with no expectations or obligations—just chemistry.

Ménage à Trois

The elegant way to say “threesome.” This classic arrangement brings together three people for a shared, consensual experience that can add a touch of sophistication to adventurous fun.

MFM

A threesome with two males and one female, with the two men typically not engaging with each other (for bi male play, see MMF). MFM setups offer unique dynamics and focus on the woman as the center of attention.

MFMF

Two couples swapping partners in a foursome, a classic “wife swap” scenario. With everyone’s consent and participation, MFMF is about exploring connections in the same room for twice the excitement!

MILF

“Mother I’d Like to…,” referring to a desirable woman, usually of an age where she could be a mom. MILFs are often mature, confident, and bring a playful mix of experience and allure.

MMF

A threesome with two males and one female, where the two men may engage in bisexual play. MMF arrangements can add unique chemistry and fulfill the desire for deeper connections among all parties.

Moresome

Refers to a playful group encounter involving more than three people—think foursomes, fivesomes, and beyond! A moresome adds variety, fun, and layers of interaction, making it a favorite among lifestyle enthusiasts who love group dynamics.

Munch

A no-pressure social gathering, often held at a public spot like a restaurant or bar, where people interested in the BDSM and kink communities can meet, chat, and connect. Munches provide a welcoming space for beginners to explore, ask questions, and feel out the scene with zero expectations.

Mutual Masturbation

An intimate act where partners sensually touch themselves while sharing the experience, letting them enjoy each other’s arousal without physical penetration. Perfect for building anticipation, this activity is both connecting and exhilarating!

Newbies

Fresh faces in the lifestyle, eager to explore but still learning the ropes. Newbies bring a sense of curiosity and openness, often welcomed by experienced folks who help guide them on this exciting journey.

NMK

Short for “Not My Kink,” it’s a gentle reminder that everyone has unique interests and preferences. Embracing NMK shows respect for each other’s boundaries, making the lifestyle inclusive and non-judgmental.

NSA

“No Strings Attached.” Often used to describe casual, no-obligation encounters where everyone’s on the same page, enjoying each other without expectations for follow-up or commitment.

Off Premise

Describes swinger events or gatherings where sexual activity is not allowed on the premises. These social settings, like meet & greets, are all about connecting, mingling, and finding compatible folks to meet up with later in private.

On Premise

Swinger events where sexual play is allowed and encouraged on-site, usually with designated rooms or areas for discretion. On-premise gatherings create a safe, consensual space for intimacy without needing to relocate.

Open Door

Refers to same-room play with an invitation for others to join or observe. If a playroom door is left open, it’s typically a signal that new friends are welcome to respectfully approach and possibly join in.

Open Minded

A term signaling inclusivity and a willingness to explore diverse connections. For some, it hints at a broader acceptance, while for others, it can discreetly imply an openness to experiences beyond heterosexual play.

Open Relationship

A relationship style that embraces emotional or physical connections with others, allowing partners to explore bonds outside of their primary relationship. Open relationships thrive on transparency, trust, and respect, making them an ideal choice for those who value freedom and deeper connections.

Orgy

A group experience where multiple people engage in intimate play, often sharing partners or interacting in different combinations. Orgies emphasize the fun of exploration and variety while keeping consent and communication front and center.

Parallel Play

When two couples share a room and enjoy intimacy with their own partners, letting the shared environment add a hint of extra excitement without directly interacting. It’s a popular option for those who enjoy the presence of others without full partner swapping.

Play

An all-encompassing term for intimate activities—ranging from kissing and sensual touch to more intense connections. In the lifestyle, “play” reflects the spirit of experimentation and pleasure shared among consenting partners.

Polyamory

A relationship structure where individuals cultivate meaningful, often romantic, relationships with multiple partners, emphasizing openness, honesty, and commitment. Polyamory fosters deep emotional connections and shared experiences among everyone involved.

Roman Play

A classic term for orgy or group play, where multiple people gather for a shared, consent-driven experience. Roman Play invites an element of history and tradition to modern group fun, celebrating openness and connection in the lifestyle.

Rope Play

A type of bondage play using intricate rope techniques to bind a partner, blending artistic expression with intimacy. Rope play can be sensually rewarding without necessarily leading to intercourse, appealing to those who enjoy trust-building and the beauty of restraint.

S&M

An abbreviation for Sadism and Masochism, where one partner enjoys giving or receiving pain as part of a pleasurable experience. S&M activities are rooted in consent and communication, enhancing intimacy through a focus on power dynamics and physical sensations.

Safe Word

A pre-agreed word or phrase that instantly stops all activity if someone becomes uncomfortable or needs a break. Safe words are essential in the BDSM world, ensuring everyone feels secure and empowered to communicate their boundaries without hesitation.

Same Rooms

Refers to couples swapping partners within the same room, keeping everyone close enough to enjoy shared energy and watchful intimacy. Same-room play enhances the experience by letting partners stay connected even when exploring new connections.

SBF

Short for Single Black Female. Often used in profiles or at events to describe someone’s background and increase diversity in the lifestyle.

SBiF

Stands for Single Bisexual Female, a “unicorn” in the lifestyle—rare and highly sought-after for her openness to both men and women.

SBiM

Short for Single Bisexual Male, a man who enjoys connections with both genders. SBiMs are growing in popularity within open-minded communities and add versatility to lifestyle experiences.

SBM

Abbreviation for Single Black Male, commonly seen in profiles or at events. Diversity in background and preference brings added excitement to lifestyle gatherings.

Separate Rooms

Refers to couples who choose to swap partners in different rooms, giving each pair privacy while still engaging in partner play. This allows couples to explore separately while maintaining a shared experience.

Sex

A broad term that encompasses a wide variety of intimate acts, from passionate kisses to more physical connections. In the lifestyle, sex is what consenting adults make of it—always guided by comfort, desire, and mutual enjoyment.

Sex-Positive

A non-judgmental approach to sexuality, embracing all consensual, adult interactions as natural and enjoyable. Sex-positivity celebrates pleasure, diversity, and respect, fostering a safe space for everyone’s unique desires.

Shared Wife

A dynamic where a woman has intimate interactions with others, either casually or romantically, with her partner’s consent. Often part of polyamory or open relationships, shared wife arrangements thrive on openness and trust.

Ski Slopes

A discreet code for cocaine use, used in some lifestyle circles. Swingers prioritize wellness, so substance use varies by individual preference but can impact experience and performance.

SM

Refers to a Single Man, often someone open to joining couples or groups in the lifestyle. “S/M” could indicate someone into BDSM; context will often clarify which is intended.

Snow

A subtle term for cocaine, often used in discreet conversations. While some lifestyle events may involve light substance use, respect and consent always come first in any lifestyle experience.

SO

Stands for Significant Other, meaning a committed partner, spouse, or the primary relationship in one’s life. Navigating the lifestyle with a SO means clear communication and shared boundaries.

Spun

Refers to intimacy while under the influence of methamphetamine. It’s less common in the lifestyle, as many prioritize wellness, but consent and respect remain the foundation of any experience.

Squirting

Female ejaculation, often celebrated as a unique and thrilling experience in the lifestyle. Frequent “squirters” may bring a Liberator or waterproof blanket to keep the vibe (and sheets) comfortable for everyone.

Stag

The male half of an open relationship, often enthusiastic and supportive as his partner explores. Unlike a cuckold, a stag enjoys sharing his partner in a confident and proud manner.

STI or STD

Refers to Sexually Transmitted Infections or Diseases. Safe, respectful intimacy in the lifestyle involves open discussions about health and regular testing to keep everyone feeling comfortable and secure.

STR, STR8, Straight

Common terms for a heterosexual person. This helps clarify preferences and boundaries for those looking to connect with similar or diverse experiences.

Sub

A person who enjoys submitting within a BDSM context, surrendering control to a dom or domme. Sub dynamics can range from playful to intense, always rooted in clear, mutually respected boundaries.

SW

Short for Single Woman or Unicorn. Rare, sought-after, and often a fantastic addition to the lifestyle scene, unicorns add unique excitement to events and connections.

Swap

Refers to couples exchanging partners for a range of intimate activities, from flirtation to full experiences. Swapping can be as light or intense as both parties desire, and it brings a fresh twist to shared adventures.

SWF

Stands for Single White Female. Common in profiles, it lets others know this unicorn is flying solo and open to lifestyle adventures.

Swinger

Anyone who embraces the lifestyle, sharing a zest for exploration, fun, and connection. From newbies to seasoned pros, all are welcome to define their own play style in this judgment-free world.

SWM

Single White Male. Often used in profiles to introduce a solo man looking to connect with like-minded couples or groups, always with respect and consideration.

T-girl

Short for a transgender woman, someone who may have been born male but identifies and presents as female. An exciting, welcome addition in diverse lifestyle communities where inclusivity is embraced.

Ticket

A playful term for an escort hired to gain entry to a couple’s or exclusive event that doesn’t allow single men. Not common, and generally frowned upon as the lifestyle is about genuine connections and respect for established boundaries.

Top

In man-to-man play, the partner who takes the more active or dominant role. In any dynamic, whether BDSM or swinging, everyone’s comfort and boundaries are essential.

TS

Transsexual, often indicating someone in transition or who identifies with a different gender than their birth sex. Many TS individuals find open and warm acceptance in lifestyle communities where diversity is celebrated.

TV

Short for Transvestite, a term for a person (often male) who enjoys dressing in clothes typically associated with another gender. This expression is embraced within the lifestyle, especially in kink-friendly circles, and often adds a playful twist to events and encounters.

Unicorn

A rare single female in the lifestyle, prized for her adventurous spirit and willingness to join couples for mutual fun. Unicorns are highly sought after, often seen as the “holy grail” of the swinger community!

V Safe

Refers to a vasectomy, often listed by men in profiles to reassure partners of their sterility. For some, it also implies a comfort level with certain types of play, but respect and open discussion are always key.

Vanilla

Refers to the “outside world” or people not involved in the lifestyle. Sometimes used to describe more conventional, non-kinky experiences—like chocolate without sprinkles!

Vixen

The adventurous female half of an open couple, ready to play solo or with others while her partner enjoys the thrill. Often the vixen takes pride in creating fun, exciting experiences with her partner’s support.

Water Sports

Also known as Golden Showers, this BDSM term refers to a fetish where urination is involved as part of play. It’s rare and not everyone’s taste, but in true lifestyle spirit—no judgment as long as it’s consensual and safe.

YKINMK

Stands for "Your Kink Is Not My Kink." A reminder that everyone’s tastes and preferences differ, and that’s okay. This phrase keeps the community open, accepting, and non-judgmental, embracing the “live and let live” mantra.


The Journey Continues!

If this is just the beginning for your journey into the lifestyle… we hope that learning every term will help open the doors to shared experiences, deeper connections, and the vibrant world that the lifestyle has to offer.

Language is powerful and it helps us connect, explore, and build trust within one another. So, as you dive into each word and phrase, remember that the lifestyle is about creating stories, expanding boundaries, and living life to its fullest.

Use this glossary as your guide, your icebreaker, and your inspiration to keep exploring.

Here’s to the moments, the connections, and the adventures yet to come!